“Bind Me” is a piece that I created for my advanced drawing course in the spring of 2020. The prompt for the project was “pairs;” we were intended to create works of art that featured two subjects, whatever those subjects may be. Personally, my art tends to focus on femininity and the female form, and breaking down what that means in art. This piece, looking back, was the beginning of my artistic movement in this direction.
My goal for this piece was to create a dynamic composition with areas of depth and full rendering, while also leaving some areas flat and simple. This was a conscious choice; I wanted to bring attention to certain areas of the piece while letting others fade slightly from the forefront of the image
The focus of this piece and of the ART-240 course in general was “process.” It was a journey of figuring out my own artistic process and the ways in which I best create my work. The process for this piece was rather simple, as it is for most of my work. I began with several thumbnail sketches of different poses that I thought would be engaging and tell the story as I wanted it to read. However, when I got my models together and they began to interact, I was able to come up with different compositions in the moment with props and items we had on hand. So for this piece, I definitely moved away from my initial thoughts and created something much more engaging compositionally than I had started off with. I think that through this piece and course I was able to introduce more spontaneity and fluidity into my art-making, and I believe that I was able to find a healthy balance between planning and exploring.
This piece was a big turning point in my work. Before creating this piece, I was unsure of my artistic message and goals. Through creating this piece, spending hours upon hours shading, erasing, and re-shading, I was able to emerge with a greater understanding of myself and my art. The image features two female subjects, one is looking directly at the viewer, and the other is looking down at the primary subject. The primary subject has her hands behind her over a wooden bat, and a sheer scarf wrapped around the lower part of her face. Her expression is calm, almost as if she’s the one in control of the situation, despite her current position. The second figure holds the scarf around the face of the first, looking down at her with a slight smile. Towards the center of the piece, the bodies are fully rendered, showing depth and life. As the eye moves outward, we can see that the detail begins to fade into flat lines, with only small areas of shadow. This was an experimental choice; originally, I had planned to render the entire drawing fully and in great detail. However, I ultimately decided that full rendering would detract from what I deemed to be the most important parts of the piece (the faces and the torsos). This choice creates an image that moves the viewers eye around the perimeter of the piece while also focusing them on the key central elements.
Since creating “Bind Me,” I have moved on to create many works with a similar theme: the expression of femininity and feminine sensuality and sexuality. 2020 was a year in which I greatly struggled to create. After the completion of this piece, I was unable to really explore my artistic endeavors further because my mental state deteriorated so rapidly with the onset of the COVID-19 pandemic. Even the remaining pieces I made for my drawing course were not pieces I saw as true reflections of my skill and intended message. After a hospitalization in September and losing some of the most important people in my life, I turned to the one thing I really had left: my art. As I would sit and try to create, I was constantly brought back to this piece, and how accomplished and proud I felt after completing it. I wanted to feel the same passion and happiness with every piece I created. I thought about why this piece was so motivating for me, why I saw it as a such a big piece in my artistic journey. Now, I know it’s because I felt a sense of empowerment creating it; I knew that some would have vehement dislike and hatred for it, while others would embrace the message and feel empowered in their own way.
I did not draw, paint, or sketch at all from May until November of 2020. I couldn’t bring myself to do it; everything felt so dark and overwhelming. When I finally did pick up a pencil to start sketching, I found the passion and love I had for my art rather quickly. I created a piece entitled “Down the Rabbit Hole.”
This piece is rough. It’s simple, light, and colorful. This piece is important to me not for the way it looks, but rather for the simple fact that I completed it. After months of struggling and fighting with myself to create, I was finally able to finish at least something, however rough and crude it may be. I was also proud of the imagery that I brought into this piece; the black mask and harness especially. I was able to combine softness with a slight edge, which is something I have continued in my work and hope to continue further. This piece was where I was able to reinvigorate my love for creating, and it has continued the positive progression of my work.
The last piece that I will discuss here is entitled “Demonic Touch.” This piece came not too long after “Down the Rabbit Hole.” I recall that I have having a slight crisis over “style,” and whether or not my style was distinctive enough, or if I even had one at all. I went into this piece with the simple goal of creating something uniquely “me,” without worrying about style or message or anything beyond a simple expression of self. In the end, however, I was able to gather a better understanding of my style. I love the areas with little to no blending, especially around the eyes and the nose. I love that I was able to let the color create form rather than modeling, which creates a very colorful and bright composition. This piece certainly marked another turning point for me and my art, as it allowed me to gather a deeper and better understanding of my artistic voice.
